The sailing adventures of two people who love the ocean and each other.
"But one object there is still, which I never pass without the renewed wonder of childhood, and that is the bow of a boat."
In 1971, during the summer between my freshman and sophomore years in college, I fell in love with sailing. I promised myself that, after I became a fighter pilot and then an astronaut, I would one day live on a big, beautiful sailboat. A few short months later I got my high school sweetheart pregnant, I got married, switched to night school and got a full time job to support my new family. As they say, ‘life happened’ and my plans changed; but I never let go of the promise that I had made to myself.
In 2008, as my marriage of 39 years was dying a slow and tortuous death, I happened upon a derelict Vagabond 47 tied to a dilapidated dock in St. Petersburg, Florida. I took this chance encounter to be an omen, a presage of my future. I saw this floating garbage heap not as she was, but as she could be; my fiberglass and canvas magic carpet. I bought the boat for pocket change and began what has turned out to be an eight-year project; a TOTAL restoration.
Being convinced that I would never find a good looking, sane, intelligent, easy-going woman with a sense of humor who didn’t do drama and who shared my love of sailing and hunger for adventure, I configured my Vagabond for single-handed sailing.
All was going according to plan but, as the restoration progressed, I struggled to find a fitting name for my good ship. I quickly discovered that naming my boat was much more difficult than naming any of my four children. The name had to match the beauty and elegance of the boat while conveying something meaningful and significant, especially to me. I eventually settled on PERFECT LOVE.
"I believe that there exists, within the heart of every man, a singular image of his perfect love. This perfect love, if she actually exists and can be found, would quench every want, every need, every desire that lingers unsatisfied deep within his thirsty soul. A very lucky few have found that perfect love. Those of us who grow tired of the search must eventually settle for a proxy; a poor substitute for the warmth of flesh and blood but still a worthy second best.
I have found my proxy, my second best. Her figure appeals to me in a uniquely personal way. I find the elegance of her bow, the curve of her shear line, the rake of her masts and the hour-glass shape of her stern to be voluptuous and strong. She is rich and full-bodied and grows more beautiful with each passing year.
My perfect love is reliable, steady and responsive to my touch. She speaks with wisdom and a subtle authority and only argues with me when I am wrong. She demands respect but always takes me where I want to go. She is playful and mysterious; an adventure just waiting for me to step on board and weigh anchor.
I am proud to be seen with her, I want to grow old with her and, if endings can be chosen, I intend to go down with her. She is my PERFECT LOVE".
I had my plan, I had my PERFECT LOVE and I had some money in my pocket; life was simple, life was good. And then Shirley came into my life.
I met Shirley on-line, through Match.com. What caught my eye in the picture, behind the pretty face, was a sloop. My first thought was “a good looking woman with big boobs who likes to sail. This is too good to be true”. Then I read her profile. It was obvious to me that this woman had no business being on Match.com. She was in mourning over the recent loss of the man that she had fallen in love with ...........
.......... Shirley, the daughter of a 'fire and brimstone' Free Will Baptist preacher, got married at the tender age of 16 and over the years had three children. After her marriage of 31 years ended in divorce, she met and eventually fell in love with Ted.
After three years of living together, Ted and Shirley bought an Island Packet 35, moved aboard and set sail. Neither had any sailing experience; they were complete novices. The book SAILING FOR DUMMIES was their main reference manual.
On October 1, 2012, Ted and Shirley left Lorain, Ohio on Lake Erie, traversed the Erie Canal, sailed down the eastern seaboard and somehow made it all the way through Lake Okeechobee where, on December 22, 2012, the night before they were going to leave for Ft. Myers heading for Key West, Ted died of a sudden and massive heart attack while on the boat at dockside in LaBelle, Florida.
I saw Shirley’s picture, with the Island Packet 35 in the background, in early May of 2013. Her profile was a tribute to her dead captain. She was obviously still in mourning; an emotional wreck. I cursed my bad luck, wrote off any thought of a romantic relationship and then sent her a message telling her that I was restoring a big sailboat very close to where she lived and that I would be happy to show it to her if she had any interest.
After a few weeks, several telephone conversations and one or two false starts, Shirley eventually showed up to take a look at my project. It was the first time that she had been on a sailboat since Ted had died. It was an emotional experience for her; a lot of tears. I felt very bad for her and tried very hard to be kind and empathetic but she was clearly a basket case and there was no way that I was going to compete with a dead man. Maybe we could be friends, but nothing more.
I asked why she was on Match and she explained that she was only looking for a friend; her heart had been broken twice and she would never let herself fall in love again. Fair enough. We had a lot in common; we both came from long-term marriages, we were both very family oriented, we had similar moral and political views and we both loved sailing. We could be friends.
We started hanging out occasionally and, much to my surprise, she was not a basket case. There were times when the weight of her loss became overpowering and she would break down in tears, but those moments grew fewer and fewer as we spent more time together.
The more time that we spent together, the more comfortable our relationship became. We spoke openly that neither of us had any intention of falling in love but each of us could feel the attraction growing. Things progressed to a point where we knew what was happening and it frightened the Hell out of each of us. After wonderful weekends together she would run away on an unnecessarily long business trip or I would find some excuse, pretending that I was too busy to see her. We played the avoidance game until we couldn’t hold out any longer, ending up together again for another wonderful weekend.
Eventually, and much to our mutual chagrin, we both admitted that we had fallen in love with each other. We started to make plans for our future together on our big, beautiful sailboat.
While on a business trip to Orlando in June of 2015 we snuck off to Cocoa Beach for a day with the intention of exploring boat yards (our favorite past time) and walking the beach. During that walk I asked Shirley to marry me, and she immediately accepted my proposal.
Against all odds, I am one of the very lucky few who have found their PERFECT LOVE. Much to my surprise, she is definitely not made of fiberglass and canvas. My perfect love is reliable, steady and responsive to my touch. She speaks with wisdom and a subtle authority and only argues with me when I am wrong. She demands respect but always takes me where I want to go. She is playful and mysterious; an adventure just waiting for me to step on board ........
Shirley and Ted maintained a blog called 'Blame Buffett' during their time together on the water. The blog boasted many followers while it was active ..........